How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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