So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
