youre lurking in front of me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
