I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
