i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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