i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
