I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
