My room smells like vodka and shame
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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