well I can't set my house on fire every night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize