I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
