I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
