just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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