just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
