Non-Jews are for practice
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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