Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
