The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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