its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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