Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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