my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
