This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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