i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
