im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
