Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
