okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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