The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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