I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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