first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize