He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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