We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
