ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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