She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize