Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
