Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
