Need sex. Gaining weight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
