the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
