He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Houston, we have a blender
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
