he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize