no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
