I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize