That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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