i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
