I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Don't make out with my wife yet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
