check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize