i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize