half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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