First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
