how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
