she looked like the before picture.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
