that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
