just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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