I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
