Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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