The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
