just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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