thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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