"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
