it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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