im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm jealous of your bromance
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
