What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
